He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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