You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize