yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
