physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
