how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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