So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
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he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
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I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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