Michael Bay diarrhea
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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