I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
