I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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