i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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