Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
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Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
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He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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