Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
