Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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