I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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