That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
NoShamevember. You game?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize