WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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