That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize