Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am." http://tfl.nu/b7uw
  Replies (18) Good night (6139) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller." http://tfl.nu/aw6q
  Replies (19) Good night (6240) Bad night (635) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11. http://tfl.nu/ga7m
  Replies (11) Good night (2741) Bad night (541) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower.... http://tfl.nu/5ddp
  Replies (14) Good night (1061) Bad night (4141) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice http://tfl.nu/sbu6
  Replies (16) Good night (4559) Bad night (1270) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee. http://tfl.nu/uw8q
  Replies (7) Good night (1089) Bad night (3345) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  It is literally 8 in the morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!! (1-402): It is literally 8 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/koue
  Replies (10) Good night (2977) Bad night (999) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (438): View more from Quebec

  I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (438): I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning. http://tfl.nu/ev9g
  Replies (15) Good night (3049) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters http://tfl.nu/r1et
  Replies (20) Good night (3992) Bad night (1124) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging http://tfl.nu/urdf
  Replies (27) Good night (750) Bad night (2456)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??" (1-512): Yeah no more flaming everclear shots. http://tfl.nu/vc2f
  Replies (10) Good night (781) Bad night (1389)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange http://tfl.nu/tkqz
  Replies (9) Good night (3171) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/8uev
  Replies (7) Good night (2669) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick. http://tfl.nu/jrjk
  Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (197) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat? http://tfl.nu/9elv
  Replies (6) Good night (468) Bad night (156) Order T-Shirt

Randomize