well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy