he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR