The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
