I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize