I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
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i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
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do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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