Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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