Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize