I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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