Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
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Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
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Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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