I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
