Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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