he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize