life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
