Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
