i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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