Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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