One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize