I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize