he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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