You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
