people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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