Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?