Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.