My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.