i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."