It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.