If i come over, it means nothing
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
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It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
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Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.