Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
