I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
