we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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