I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
