went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
