I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize