He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize