Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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