Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize