Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
