Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
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